Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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