is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
where am i from again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
