the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
