Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
