My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
