I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pants are for mortals
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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