somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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