you guys were way drunker than both of me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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