I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i drank out of a bidet.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
