I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
