i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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