I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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