I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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