Your dad touched me again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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