you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize