its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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