Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
