In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize