Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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