brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
