Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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