I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
