Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
