I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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