She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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