Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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