Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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