Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
