I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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