...so i touched it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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