Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
