she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
