wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We're too hungover to prance.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
