This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
