is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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