I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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