Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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