He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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