Can i not drive my cunt home
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
