It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
