By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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