check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
