we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How's work?
Spinning.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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