His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
