Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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