I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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