just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
