He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
