I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
