Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Never joke about your clitoris.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
