erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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