k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
