There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize