my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
