if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
send nudes
from the living room?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
