In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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