people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
