Im at strip club and am horny
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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